waiting for the final go-ahead...

monday, the nurse is supposed to have all of our final test results in, but so far, so good.

well, so as-good-as-it-gets.

yesterday i had to have two ultrasounds. the first was just a general checking things out ultrasound. i ask a lot of questions because i've been waiting a long time for answers. "what's that?" "is that normal?" "how does it look?"

that is your uterus. here is some endometriosis inside of it. see these little lines? (then me freaking out a little because there were a ton of them.)

"i think i have a cyst on my left ovary again."

yes, there's a cyst. (i could be an ovary doctor by now.)

then she went to the right ovary - the "good one," as i call it. "does it look ok?"

(she made a face and then spoke.) well, there's endometriosis inside of it. i doubt the surgery would have removed any of that because you destroy good tissue trying to get rid of bad tissue.

then she said...

i have seen a lot worse than this come out with a happy ending.

and then i cried. this was just the ultrasound tech person, so i felt bad for being so overwhelmed. i told her the clomid didn't help, and she agreed.

then the doctor came in. she said, "well, there's endometriosis, but that's not a problem for us. we already knew that. that's why you're here." whew.

then there was the other ultrasound. it was basically finding a good home for the baby or babies. it was slightly painful and i'll spare the details, but we did get to see the place where they are going to put the baby or babies when that day comes, God willing.

and you know, He just might be.