sam at 37 weeks

sam at 37 weeks is breech as can be. also, in the words of the ultrasound tech, for as small as what i am, i grew a bigger baby.

sam is anywhere between 6 lbs 9 oz and 7 lbs 7 oz, which is pretty big for three weeks before the due date apparently.

sam has a TON of hair.

unfortunately he did not get his father's head size and instead got his mother's melon head. i nearly had a stroke when the measurement on the screen was 9.87 cm across. dr. mulch jokingly said that maybe he is breech for a reason. no wonder it feels like he is breaking my ribs - he has a wrecking ball on his shoulders.

sam had his arm up over his face for the 4d pictures, but there is still one that is adorable. for those of you who "just can't see it," i photoshopped the "parts" so you could tell what was what.

and so here is the photo of our beautiful, precious, stubborn, large-headed baby boy:

i cried. he is wonderful.

dr. mulch said we need to have made our decision in a week for my 38 week appointment. if sam is still breech, we can either schedule a c-section for 39 weeks or try external version with induction at 39 weeks. (version is where they squish him around and try to make him turn, then induce labor and hope he stays head down.)

obviously there are risks and drawbacks to both. there is enough amniotic fluid for him to turn. the placenta is in the front, which makes version more difficult. if version doesn't go well, it could mean an emergency c-section, which means being under anesthesia and justin not being able to be there for what may well be our only biological child's birth.

with a scheduled c-section, you have the healing, the scar, and the terror (it scares the crap out of me). still, i would be awake and justin would be able to be there. it's just so "extreme" compared to natural birth. also, i couldn't even try to get pregnant for a year - which i'm not betting can even happen between breastfeeding and endometriosis, but that's a touchy subject for a girl with infertility (limiting something that is already so limited).

or he could turn. statistically by this point, chances are that he will not turn, but he technically still could. i've heard stories of babies turning this late or later, but it doesn't seem to be that common.

so we have no idea what we want to do. we go back and forth about it, and i've heard everyone's horror and success stories about all of the options. [please note, i am NOT delivering a breech baby "naturally." that is way too risky for my liking. if you would like to do that yourself, feel free.]

so what i will ask is that you please pray for us, that sam will turn head down, and that if he does not, that we will be able to reach a decision that we have peace about.

we are very excited to meet him - maybe even in just two weeks if he decides to be uncooperative. i can't wait to hold and snuggle my little boy and feel his soft hair and kiss his little cheeks. :)

36 weeks.

last week at my appointment, the doctor squished around on my stomach to see how sam was positioned.

most of you know how hard it was for us to get sam IN there, so it should be no surprise that at 36 weeks his head was way up in my ribs instead of down. of course if he doesn't turn, she said we could manually try to flip him from the outside (version) or do a c-section. (picture me looking tearfully at justin as the doctor finishes examining me...terrified.) i pray that any difficulties getting him in (or out) are the extent of his stubbornness. i can dream.

i have been putting an ice pack on the top of my belly to "encourage" him to flip around. i have been doing inversion techniques - or rather, one technique. starting with my knees on the ottoman (the couch is too tall), i bend at the waist with my head straight down and support myself with my elbows and head from the floor. this is supposed to stretch out any uneven ligaments or whatever it is holding everything in place in there. i hold that for about a minute and a half and then justin helps me stand up (that is a tough pose to get out of with a big belly) and that is supposed to relax everything back into the right place.

i woke up this morning at four needing to pee - this is a regular occurrence. i felt "funny" so i laid on the couch for a second and started squishing around on my stomach. no more head in the ribs. or so i think. and is that a round head way down there? maybe. i can't tell.

i went back to bed and there were kicks and punches (which are which depends on if he actually turned) in places that there hadn't been, and then he got hiccups and they were completely opposite where they normally were.

something is in my ribs that can actually make popping sounds against them depending on how i move. kind of gross and weird, i'll admit. it is firm, but doesn't feel round like his head did, and it's in a different spot. i'm a bit terrified of how large he is if it's his leg, but it might be part of his back...who knows.

so today i am waiting on my blood work to come back to see if something is wrong with my gallbladder. i have all of the symptoms, so it would almost surprise me if there wasn't something wrong. then tomorrow is the ultrasound to check sam's position and find out for sure what that popping thing is in my ribs. i am really excited to see him - we haven't seen him since february. i really thought they would do more ultrasounds than this, so it is going to be really great to see him. :)

nursery

the bookshelf, and my old elephant bank that matched the nursery theme.

one of sam's giraffe toys.

sea turtle and cloth diapers.

another giraffe toy and the quilt i made sam.

the crib.

dresser and wall hanging.

storage cart and bookshelf.

closet doors and trim, crib, wall hanging.

8 months/35 weeks.

wow it has been a while since i blogged. the school year wound down, and i was doing a LOT to prepare for my maternity leave at the beginning of the year next year.

i have been spending most of my time being an uncomfortable pregnant lady. i was sure the doctor was wrong when he measured my belly two appointments (three weeks) ago and said i was measuring small. everything i have read says that the size of the baby and the size of your belly are not necessarily related. at my next appointment (last week), the doctor was another doctor in the rotation, and instead of loosely and gingerly measuring my belly with a tape measure (yes), she squished around on my belly.

and she said sam feels a bit above average, "a pretty good sized baby." not that i want him to be enormous. i'm not a large girl...normally. but he FEELS like he is enormous, and i don't have a whole lot of room for him in my 5'2" body. (watch, he will be 6 pounds and i will look like a whiner. but the doctor said the mom's birth weight - and that of her family - is a big factor in the baby's weight, and i was just shy of 8 pounds and my brother was just shy of 9.)

sam doesn't move around as much now, because he is running out of room. of course. he still gets the hiccups and wiggles and kicks so hard my entire stomach shakes, but it doesn't happen as often as it did in the 22-week to 32-week range. (this is all new to me, and i try to describe it because it is nearly impossible to imagine how it feels unless you have done it and your pregnancy is similar to mine, as i hear they are all very different.)

another thing that is happening to me is horrendous heartburn and numbness/tingling. the heartburn is best tackled with baking soda and water, which is totally disgusting but it works. the numbness is from sam being heavy enough to rest on some important blood vessels and make my hands and arms stop feeling like they are fully functional - and sometimes my legs, too. sometimes it helps to change positions or get up and do some small activity, but other times it just hangs around.

starting next week, my appointments will be weekly and i will get checked for "progress" in the nether regions. they will also check to see if he is in position, which i am unsure of - i feel like he is sideways a lot, but today he feels head down. then at 37 weeks, if he hasn't decided to come yet, i am supposed to be getting an ultrasound to get a very general idea of how big he might be, just in case we want to adjust the birth plan accordingly for the health and safety of both of us.

last night we made our birth plan! and we also started packing our hospital bags, just things that we can do in advance. i can't believe we are so close. yesterday i cleaned and organized so much in the nursery while justin was gone to class that i passed out on the couch as soon as he got home because it was the first time i let myself sit down.

of course, we had my shower, and it was just wonderful. some super awesome friends put it on for me and they did a fabulous job. :) we got a ton of baby things and a ton of gift cards, which we have been slowly spending and are taking a shopping trip tomorrow to get more things that we need with them.

yesterday i put sam's booster seat in the dining room chair. i realize i won't need it for a while, but i needed a place to put it to get it out of his room, so i set it up...and then i cried. it is all so exciting, but still so unbelievable because of our journey to this point. it feels like it can't be real...even when he kicks me in the bladder and i swear i will pee right then and there. (i haven't, but seriously wow bladder kicks will let you know that you are not in ultimate control of your life.)

this blog feels a bit scattered, but that is an accurate portrayal of life right now. seriously, you should see the nursery. so i'm off to go work on that.