a timeline for treatment, etc.

today i experienced my 12th month of negative pregnancy tests. it's still not "officially over," ahem, but the test would likely tell by now, and honestly it feels the same as it has every other month on clomid. i could run copies of my charts by now - that's how similar every little symptom is. i am trying to be ok, but it is hard. my patience is drained and i am ready to be done with this emotional roller coaster, and i have no control over any of it. it sucks. big time.

that being said, i want to share with you what is going to happen over the next few months, tentatively of course.

aside from some miracle happening over the next few days:

this week i call my doctor and get a prescription for this month's clomid. please pray he will increase the dose - if not at my insisting, then by my specialist's recommendation.

this week i also get a test for FSH (follicle stimulating hormone, as in egg production) and estradiol (another regulatory female hormone). please pray that these will both come back normal and healthy.

at some point soon, i will be getting an ultrasound in st. louis to look at my uterine lining and basically find a place to put an in vitro baby (or two!) if we should get to that point. please pray that this will also be normal and healthy.

this month we will be doing another IUI, as we have the past two months. it should be around the 28th. please pray with us that this one will result in pregnancy.

if it does not, in about a month, i will be going on birth control pills for around three weeks. i think this gives my body a rest and enables us to start in vitro treatment in september. please pray for justin, because that stuff makes me crazy.

in september, i will start the injections for in vitro fertilization. i'm not sure of the exact schedule of these because we have not done orientation yet, but i do know that justin will have to administer these (yes, he will have to give me shots). please pray for this whole process, from the actual injections to the function of the medicines.

during this time, i will have to be monitored in st. louis several times with ultrasounds and bloodwork. this means getting up very early, going to st. louis, and returning to work and school for the afternoons as very tired individuals. please pray for our patience and rest during that time, and for my students to be super well behaved.

then comes the egg harvesting and fertilization. eggs are taken with a needle, and the whole process freaks me out, so just pray with us that this goes well. i will be sedated for that ordeal.

after that, half of the healthy eggs will be injected in an attempt to fertilize, and half will be allowed to just sort of "do their thing" in some little glass dishes. the doctors will watch and see if any eggs are fertilized and if fertilization occurs, then they will watch and see how the babies grow. if several are doing very well at the end of a few days, they will be allowed to grow into the blastocyst stage before they are placed in my uterus. if only a few are doing well after a few days, they will be implanted before the blastocyst stage. please pray with us that we will have viable eggs and that some will fertilize and grow and be healthy. please pray with us for patience and a bigger house if 12 of them do.

then, of course, is the point where the babies no longer stay in the dishes. one or two (i am not eligible for only one transfer if two are healthy because of the stage of endometriosis i have had, so i will have two if there are two) babies will be placed in my uterus. at this point he/she/they will have to dig in and get cozy and grow strong for nine months. please pray that they DO dig in, get cozy, and grow strong!

if any are left, they will have to be frozen. it would be a detriment to my health and the health of the babies to put more than two in at a time. please pray for this process to be successful and healthy both at the beginning and at the end when we would do the placement process again when we decided the time was right.

thanks. we really appreciate it, and if you have read this far, i know you really want to know what is going on and you want to be praying very specifically with and for us. if it took you a few separate sessions to read, i'm sorry, i just wanted to be thorough. ;)