that pretty much sums up the last two weeks of my life. i have been exhausted to the point of sitting with my head in my hands by the time it is 11:00 am. i'm tired. i wake up and feel like i didn't sleep, even if i go to bed at a decent hour. by the time i get home, i have a headache and i'm ready for bed, so i spend my evenings just laying around feeling useless.
my cyst, on the other hand, has stopped hurting so much. i am really glad of that. i imagine the number the birth control pill is doing on the rest of my body, it's doing on the endo, and that at least is a bonus.
the hip pain had also subsided for a day or so, and today there i stood, in front of my class, talking about repeating decimals, and the ache came back with a vengeance. i would have loved to sit down, but when 23 kids have questions - or even 13 kids with questions and lots of full moon energy - you can't really rest. it makes me really glad that i'm giving a test tomorrow afternoon, that is for sure.
i think i've gotten to the point of feeling pretty discouraged about IVF. i literally won't even think about it. i take the pills in the morning, the vitamins in the evening, get through the side effects of both, and ignore the rest. my brain can't think of injections, because inevitably i will wake up from dreams of needles and vials of medicine. so i don't get any farther than that. no procedures, no babies, no nothing. i just try not to think about it much at all.
my temps are still up, and that really, REALLY bothers me. the blood test came back negative on monday, but the nurse i had talked to would like me to take another before i start the lupron shots. i am also still having totally whacked-out blood pressure, still seeing the lights, etc.
so all in all, i feel like a medical freakshow.
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