the plans

i start pills for ivf this week. i am assuming i will start shots before october or around the beginning, but i will get my official schedule tomorrow.

we are fertilizing two eggs and hopefully that works. they will use ICSI for that, which is where they fertilize by injection. there is a general 50-100% success rate with fertilization for that, but we are still in the dark about that process with us and about my egg quality (though the doctor doesn't think mine is really compromised). then we will freeze the rest of the eggs for additional cycles or to throw away if the first round works. and i have peace about it, actually. i KNOW this is the way we are supposed to do it, and if it doesn't work, God will give us a baby in another way.

we are still working on adoption. even if the ivf works, we are planning to adopt in the near future, or at least prepare to so that when there is a baby for us, we can adopt. we have to get a home study done, decide on an agency, and make all the right contacts and legal moves, and still find some way to finance it.

i keep having korea in the back of my mind, like we are supposed to adopt from there, but i really have no idea how we can realistically spend 60% of my yearly salary on an adoption. we don't have the money to pay for a domestic adoption, let alone international.

we can't apply for any grants until we have completed a home study, and each organization/agency makes you pay for a separate home study with THEM (why it isn't standardized i don't know, probably to make money), so we pretty much have to pick an agency and stick with them. yes, that does mean that if one organization has a baby in a week and another has a baby in three years and we are with the three-year one, we wait three years. so i worry. of course.

we are reading "adopted for life" right now, by russell moore. it is incredible and i think it is changing my life. it is so much more than a book about adoption. if you ever questioned your relationship with God, ever considered adoption, or both, you need to read this book. it would be beneficial to people who will never adopt simply to read it and learn about how we are adopted by God. i seriously cry reading this book. it is incredible.