seeing lights...

so this time around, my infertility doctor prescribed my clomid and told me to take it two days later than i normally had been, according to some different "rules," so to speak, than my doctor down here uses.

it is the same exact dosage as last time, but it is making me super dizzy and i am seeing all kinds of funny lights in the bottoms of my eyeballs. of course everything inside my head goes, "maybe that means it's going to WORK." but it most likely just means that i am seeing lights.

i started doing opks today and it was negative, but no big deal. it will be positive soon enough. we are not doing an IUI this month, but we do have an appointment next week to talk more about IVF and our options with that. i am still leaning toward three and i am hoping that the doctor AND justin will be with me on that. we will see soon, i guess, but i am ready to have the decision made just in case it does come to that. i also anticipate learning about how exactly the endometriosis has affected my fertility - namely my egg quality - through IVF.

i also researched adoption a little bit. with the local agency that we would use, we can't even apply until december because you have to be married for three years first. on top of that, it's just about as expensive as IVF. sigh. i told justin today that we might as well face the fact that we were most likely going to have to go into debt to have kids. (granted i would go into debt so far that i couldn't even afford the value menu at mcdonald's for a fancy date, but that's not how it works.)

and with work: second year, new group of kids, it's amazing the difference. i really like our group of kids. some of them are even shorter than i am, so that's different. also, they are really funny. today there were like three minutes left before the final bell, and one kid said really quiet, "when i get to the crib, i'm gonna eat some hot pockets." i cracked up. maybe you had to be there. :)