holding sam

life is fast and fleeting, right now more than ever it seems, as we are so busy and the boys are growing so quickly. levi is already five months old, and sam is so big, he never falls asleep on his mama anymore.

but today, he managed to skip his afternoon nap. he seemed tired around 5:30, so i asked him to come snuggle with me while we watched veggie tales.

i felt his head roll to the side periodically, heavy and exhausted. finally, justin told me he had fallen asleep.

it was good.

feeling the weight of his little sleeping body on my chest and stomach was welcome after a long spell without it. his hair glinted a very light golden blonde in the dim light of the living room. his long, dark eyelashes rested on his cheeks.

his breathing was steady and deep - the breathing of a tired little boy who has spent the day playing, coloring, dancing, and throwing the occasional fit.

and i just held him in my arms, rested my cheek on his soft, short, little boy hair, and soaked it in.

i'm writing this not to share so much as to remember it, and to have this for him when he is older and maybe has kids of his own, so that he can understand that i love him more than words can say.