the other day, i was talking with an acquaintance who congratulated me on my pregnancy. she asked when i was due, and i told her july 18. she said, "oh you planned that really well!" and i replied, "yes, i have a nice long maternity leave!"
it wasn't until later that i was telling justin about the conversation that i realized what had, or rather hadn't, happened in my brain.
nothing cringed inside of me when she said "planned." anyone who has dealt with infertility knows how easy it can be to have a mental knee-jerk response, or even feel hurt when people say certain things. i'm not saying it's right, but it certainly is difficult to combat when you are in such an unnatural and difficult place in life.
but she didn't know i wasn't "normal," and by golly, it was like i forgot i wasn't. and i didn't even know it had happened until hours after the conversation - it was like a nice little light came on: look at the peace God has given.
i'm just happy i got to feel that way, and i hope it continues and God continues to help my heart in that spot.
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