well we have successfully made it three and a half weeks into the ivf process.
the first week and a half was terrible. i started the pill and it made me nauseous every. single. day. it was horrible. i tried to switch to taking it at night but when combined with the night-taking of the prenatal vitamin, it kept me up. i finally started taking it at lunch and the nausea stopped altogether. i took my last pill last thursday.
a week ago, i started lupron shots. the needle doesn't really hurt, but the medicine burns going in, then it itches, and it usually gets red like a bug bite. justin gives me the shots so that it's not a psychological battle.
justin has had a lot of worries about the process, because it is so unnatural and so invasive and so serious. there are a lot of things that come with ivf that don't come with a normal pregnancy. namely, you have had to struggle a LOT to get to the point of ivf, so you have issues with being negative, being worried, being stressed, and being incredibly medicated and emotional (for the woman, at least). and then the fact that the baby is outside of your body for a few days and you can't just have it with you and care for it in the natural way creates a few more issues. so just be praying for peace in this decision.
i feel that we have eliminated most other ethical issues that are actually valid, so i am comfortable, but still scared it won't work. pray for us - i plead with you, pray for us - that it WILL work, and that we will have two healthy babies from this process.
the medicine hasn't had a lot of side effects until the past few days. each night i have been waking up at around 2am, kicking the covers off and whining because i get SO HOT. hello, menopause. nice to meet you. (as if my body didn't feel 30 years older than it is anyway.) the hot flashes end soon enough and i cool off, but by that time i'm usually wide awake. my endometriosis had also seemed to be as dormant as it gets as far as pain, and it's been a bit agitated the past few days as well. and last night i just sobbed on the way home from justin's family get-together because i was just too emotional to manage it. being on hormone medication for six months has not been my favorite thing.
our appointment is this week, and then we should start the stimulation shots on friday. i'm not sure about the schedule after that, but i will find out more at our appointment.
adoption is seeming so daunting right now. i feel like we have waited and waited and waited, and adoption is more of that. there are the classes to attend and the home study to get done and then the actual wait for someone to give up their child, which is a terrifying concept in itself - and which is becoming less and less popular since abortion is so readily available and so "normal." it is also so costly, and we really don't have the extra money for it. i know that God provides, but it is so easy after going through all of this to have very little faith that something is going to work out well.
so that's my update on this monday morning.
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